Sunday, 11 April 2010

Ps and Qs

Leave the flat at 11.30am to get the papers. Get lost in my thoughts and 90 minutes later I am lost. I come across Brentford's Steam Museum ('See the magic of steam!'). I have an urge for a coffee and a sit down, but not at a steam museum. Further on, I hit a crossroads. I decide to walk down the south side of the Thames, going right, towards Kew Gardens. There will be cafes near Kew Gardens.

Half an hour down this meandering path, a sign tells me: 'Richmond Lock: 1.5 miles'. I am thirsty and a thin film of spit has formed across my front teeth. I need the toilet. On the other side of the river I can see quaint cafes and quirky pubs. I am on the side where they dump the bodies. There is nothing but dirty ponds, slime and thorny bushes. I trundle on. I reach Richmond Lock. The only thing there is a sign for Richmond Station: half a mile. I have a stitch. Isn't there meant to be a Starbucks every 50 steps in London? One with a toilet?

Richmond eventually appears and I dive into a cafe under a bridge. It is aimed at hairy vegans and Amnesty International members and sells glasses of soya milk for £1.80. But these sorts of places do acknowledge gluten-free diets, so I gratefully order a wheat-free veg pie. At least this diversion diverted my mind from my return to work tomorrow.

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